And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
