hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
