i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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