That's intense
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Girls should come with a carfax report
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
