Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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