I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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