How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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