He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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