she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Houston, we have a squirter
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
