If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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