Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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