you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
