Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
