She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
