You just made me feel so damn special
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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