i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
