i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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