You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
