idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
