oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My bed smells like the plague
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