If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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