hotel room ftw
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
