i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize