NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
