i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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