You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
