i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
