i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
