lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
