will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize