tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
