"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
