So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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