All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
