i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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