I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
