if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize