that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
