Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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