Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
