someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize