I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
