3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
