No subtext here. People are naked.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
