omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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