seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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