Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Michael Bay diarrhea
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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