just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
