sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
