YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He kissed a someone with a penis
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
