There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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