what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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