Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
