In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
