Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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