No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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