I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
