i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
