Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
