Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
