I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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