are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
