apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
