so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize