her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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