Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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