How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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