i was born a porn star she said
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
