didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
