I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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