??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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