I hate all girls vehemently.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize