I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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